I saw one of these at Starbucks today. It was so adorable. For some reason, it reminds me of an alien. They are little and fat. I love that.

I was reading a passage in Genesis today. Genesis 3:1-10, the rebellion.

I’m using a devotional book: The Message//Remix: Solo by Eugene H. Peterson.

In todays devo, it asked a question about vs. 9 of the passage which says, “God called to the Man: ‘Where are you?’”

The question is: If God knows everything, why did he call out to Adam asking “Where are you?”

Ok, so i sat on this because what a good question. Why did God ask? Often I just tell myself that I don’t get God and that’s why He asked. Today though my mind was thinking of the game hide and seek. When I was a child I love this game. I don’t know what the appeal was because I had a lot of “accidents” meaning I used to pee my pants every time I hid because I would get so excited/scare of being found. Is that sharing too much? I don’t know and don’t care. So I don’t get why I loved the game so much, but I did. As I thought on the question I started picturing a father playing with his young daughter. You know how the game works with little kids they hide in the most obvious spot and then the adult has to pretend like they can’t find them. Often they make a big show out of it asking aloud “where could she be?” “Is she there? No…hmm, why can’t I find her?” They put on this beautiful show to make the child think they can’t be found. I guess my thoughts go back to the verse thinking… That feeling of being found is exciting!!! As a child there is probably lots of giggling and loud laughter. Its fun! I see deep down this belief being established in us that we’re worth being search for, that someone wants to find us. We’re worth the time and energy it takes to find us. My mind soon after jumped to the thought of being found after I’d peed my pants. Often it was my friends finding me and my mother tells me that I truly didn’t care. I’d try to run around for hours with wet pants, not wanting to leave all the fun being had. My friends were thinking “…not again Sam.” But beside that: picture yourself being found. You step out of hiding and it’s kind of like a confession. You’re in this place of “revealing” yourself, no matter how vulnerable. You step out into the light, for you are found. It’s also a place of trust. I think of people who are hiding from someone who hurts them- I’d imagine they resist being found to the point that they don’t step out of their hiding place, they are ripped from it. 

Yet being found by God: I picture it being this beautiful drawing out. God tells us who He is. He speaks tender and comforting words. It is beautiful. It feels right and safe and true. We step out, trusting that as we show our true self, we are safe.

I was rereading an old journal from 2006, just 3 years ago. As I re-lived some memories I came across this thought from Oct. 19,2006:

I want so badly to do the right thing. But it’s taking a really long time to figure out the right thing.

I’m still there. My thoughts are so similar still. I’ll admit I got really afraid that I haven’t changed much in 3 years but then I reminded myself of some of the situations I was in 2006. I’m capable of so much more than I even know. A lot has changed and I know that I’ve changed some. Though, many of my thoughts from my writing in 2006 still echo much of what I think now…. when will i learn?…

I remembered recently how much I love to climb. When I was young, I used to climb trees constantly. I lived in this place of “no fear.” Until one day it happened, I fell off of a tree, high up off the ground, landed flat on my back and had the wind knocked out of me. From that day on, I was afraid. Til that moment, I was carefree and unafraid. I miss that feeling. In so many things that can happen, fear sets in which removes the joy that once reigned. I want to go back to those moments where the joy was undeniable and the fear died.

One of my newest hobbies…Knitting. i have some great teachers here in the PNW.. Kelly and Dawn.

“I like making a piece of string into something that I can wear.” ~ author unknown.