Pride vs. Humility
31 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
So I’ve never really considered myself a prideful person but I really am. quite prideful. like a lot prideful. its a little bit sickening. sadly, its my inability to see the pride that really makes me sad- and probably even more prideful. it feels like a never ending cycle…
So lately, I’ve honestly and truly tried to be more intentional about considering my part in situations. I’ve also tried to ask myself the question, “how do I need to humble myself in this situation?” Its been incredible the results that I’ve received from taking this position, in love. My words are better received. My attitude in saying them is right and good and loving. I am able to see myself clearly without self-depreciating. Its incredible the way that EVERYTHING changes when I take on an attitude of humility.
Today, I spoke at the Christian school chapel to all the kids. I spoke about Christ’s humility. I was amazed at what God was showing me in it- and thankful that Christ set an example. We don’t ever have to wonder ”how humble do i need to be.” Jesus painted a pretty clear picture. Thank God!
How easy it is to get all “puffed up” with pride about so many different things. Yet we do not compare to the GREATNESS that is Jesus and He never chose to be puffed up, not once.
What is God up to?
25 Mar 2010 1 Comment
My friend Kelly and I have started a new book together. We are reading Walking with God by John Eldredge. Thus far, its been a really good book. This first part really made me ask myself what are some of the assumptions that I make about God? Sometimes we believe that once we become a Christian life will be really fun, easy and happy. Not so true. Yet I wonder if we don’t sort of believe that somewhere inside of us sometimes, or we make assumptions which just end up with major dissappointment towards God. What are some of the assumptions you make that eventually lead or have led to some dissappointment with God?
I think for a long time I was pretty disappointed with how thing had started while I was in Seattle, WA. I knew that this whole adventure wasn’t going to be easy but I don’t think I imagined how hard it would be either. I think I assumed that with the many people around me, that I knew, things would be fun and easier than I thought. I’m sure they were easier than if I’d been all on my own. Yet, it didn’t take away some of difficulties with my job at Target, nor the lack of other friends, or my insecurities of life and ministry, etc…. There was so much that I still remained to be a struggle. I think it was in those moments that I really had to ask myself “What is God up to?” I definitely didn’t always phrase it that way. In fact, I was probably pretty upset at times when I asked that question.
Yet, i was reading this book Walking with God , and Eldgredge says something that really made sense. After we deal with the assumptions and really look at what God is up to here is the hope amidst the difficulty:
“God has something in mind. he is deeply and personally committed to restoring humanity. Restoring you. He had a specific man or woman in mind when he made you. By bringing you back to himself through the work of Jesus Christ, he has established relationship with you. And now, what he is up to is restoring you…All of the other things we long for in life– love and friendship, freedom and wholeness, clarity of purpose, all the joy we long for– it all depends on our restoration. You can’t find or keep good friends while you are still an irritating person to be around. And there is no way love can flourish while you are still controlling. You can’t find your real purpose in life while you’re still slavishly serving other people’s expectations of you. You can’t find peace while you’re ruled by fear. You can’t enjoy what you have while you’re envying what the other guy has. On and on it goes (pg20)….”
I think this is basically telling us that its the transformation and restoration that God wants to see in our life and bring to fruition is a process. It won’t be an easy one but in the long run, its going to be a supremely beautiful one. There is so much in this world that threatens to steal, kill, and destroy but we have hope because:
Christ has come that we may have life and life to the full–John 10:10
So there is hope my friends. God is up to something awesome and incredible, no matter what place we find ourselves in today. No matter the things we wrestle or wade through, God is up to something. Lets look for it, and fix our eyes on the movement of His presence in anticipation!
youth ministry. I wrestle you.
23 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
Youth ministry is a difficult place to serve. It has its fun moments. Like you get to “act” like a kid and do ridiculous things that deep down everyone wants to do but the expectations of “adults” prevents them. Its really beautiful to have great conversation and hear students start to comprehend God’s goodness to them. When they talk about being God’s friend and what that means– its pretty powerful and heart exploding. Its so amazing to see gradual change and growth in students who may have never been to youth group before. There is so much good but it is also very hard.
This time in life for students is difficult. There is so much that they’re trying to figure out. Often they are incredibly misunderstood. I think that often this time of life is so difficult that many people once they’ve finished with it, never look back. Yet, these years are so formative in students’ lives that knowing God and pursuing Him in this time is VITAL. Things are changing left and right for students. They wrestle with friendships, identity, truth, pressure, expectations, and the list goes on.
So how do we minister to this age group?! How do we show them that despite all the things around them that they don’t understand and that don’t make sense- there is something that remains strong and true through it all? How do we show them that they are loved unconditionally? How do we make them aware of the consequences of the things they do and no matter the consequence, they’ll be ok because God is faithful? How do we show them? How do you continue to teach that and to remind them of that when there is so much that we’re so incredibly unaware of in their lives?
I’m afraid that I’m missing something vital in my ministry right now. I desperately want to be building this strong beautiful relationships with them, so that they’ll hear me when I say that God is faithful and He loves them. That nothing else matters in this world besides God, and that seeking His face first is SO worth the efforts. How do I help them know this?
I’m struggling so much myself and I don’t have it all together. Often, I haven’t a clue what to do and often I am making it up as I go along because I don’t know how to prepare myself for those moments when kids aren’t remembering and they’re lost. They’re messed up in sins and sadness and identity crisis’. How do I point them to the truth?
Youth ministry is hard. There is so much that we forget about those years in our lives. Sometimes they’re the years we never want to face again. I’ve been there. I’m so thankful that I don’t have to go to high school again. I wasn’t a fan, yet how do I encourage those that are in it…
Sacrifices….
21 Mar 2010 1 Comment
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot on the words “surrender” and “sacrifice.” Words that ask a lot, that demand change. Words that go against the “normal” train of thought. Words that are hard to swallow.
I’ve been thinking a lot in brief moments of vacancy; ie. walking from the van to the house, walking down the steps in my house, pacing in the living room, etc….
I just was remembering a story about a kid that a good friend of mine used to babysit. This was years ago and we used to laugh so hard to remember the story. The kid was listing off the things that she didn’t like. She said something like I hate peas, boogers, and sacrifices. ha. Even at the young age of like 8 years old, a kid understands the difficulty of sacrifices. haha.
Thursday afternoons I get the great privelege to lead a Bible study with 4 high school girls. They’re really great and I love chatting with them, even when they struggle to stay on topic. like a lot. We are studying the attributes of God. This past week, we talked about faithfulness. We were studying the passage in Genesis that tells the story of Abraham and Isaac. I’ve heard this story millions of times, heard sermons, blah blah blah…. I haven’t stopped thinking about the story since our study. One of the questions that I asked the girls was
“How would you feel about this story if Isaac had actually been killed?”
I’ve been thinking on this in brief moments in my day- and today I was just profoundly aware that even if Isaac had died, the level of God’s faithfulness would NOT have changed. He is still faithful. His faithfulness would have just looked differently. Maybe He would have provided something else for Abraham and his wife. I don’t know. That’s the mystery of God, I guess we don’t really need to wonder what would change if these stories didn’t end the way we think they should. Sometimes life is like that, isn’t it?! Sometimes things happen in the ways we wish they didn’t but you just have to embrace what is— and see God at work. Because no matter what happens in life, no matter the consequences, or endings of parts of our story, God is still God. He still is every bit of who He says He is. Because He is true to His Word. He hasn’t changed or moved away, etc…. He still is every bit of who He says He is, no matter the ways our life twist and turns. That’s beautiful and sometimes hard for me to swallow. Because just like sacrifices, it takes a lot to live that and believe it. It goes against what is natural but it feels so right, doesn’t it?
Big things….
17 Mar 2010 2 Comments
The book that I recently posted about is still affecting me. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around some of the concepts and ideas presented. Some days, some of the things this book asks of me seems so easy and so clear. Other days I am well aware of the difficulty of changing current behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes.
How do you get to place of doing EVERYTHING for the glory of God? I mean, what does that look like in a normal human life?! There has to be a continual attitude of seeking the face of God, above all other things. This isn’t easy because in reality how often is it that we do things for the sake of others?! Am I alone in this? I don’t believe that I am.
When I have a bad day- my first thought isn’t always, “Man, I should really meet with God on this. I know He’ll be a great comfort to me.” Often its like- “I need some chocolate.” “I wish I could talk to so and so.” “I just need to spend some quality relaxing time with a good movie” etc… My first thought isn’t always to seek the face of God.
Even in serving other people- I know that God has asked us to love others as we love ourselves. Yet, do we always love people out of the love that God has already poured in our hearts or do we love people because of what they can give back to us? Or do we love people because we should, out of a sense of obligation. I don’t like being in that place. I want to love people out of the right places and for the right reasons.
It makes so much sense to put God first. It seems so clear and easy, such a simple truth. Yet the actual living out of it is SO hard. I start to realize how incredible selfish and self-focused I am. Its sort of painful. Even in realizing it, sometimes it feel almost too hard to change it. It asks a lot of work and study and pursuit of higher things for readjustment of focus. Sometimes it feels easier to be ignorant or “unenlightened” as I’ve heard before. I think its sort of funny that people buy into that idea because the reality is- the ignoring or denial of understanding and change just leads to great hurt, destruction, and great demand for change later in life…. its just a downward spiral as we continue farther and father on the paths that we claim. powerful.
LOVE COMMANDS MY SOUL. IT DEMANDS MY ALL. OUCH. YET WONDERFUL. MOVING. POWERFUL. BEAUTIFUL.
reading is my new friend
14 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
I’ve been meeting with my friend, Kelly, to discuss this book. Its been pretty profound in my life. It has challenged me in the way that I should love others. One of the things that I sort of understand about myself is that I love BIG. I enjoy loving others, learning their love languages, and loving them. Sometimes its lonely in this place because I’m often willing to go to deep places for the people I love- whether their part of my ministry, dear friends, family, church body, etc…
From experience, I know that it is easy for people to feel like burdens. I’ve especially experienced this since participating in ministry. Its just a hard balance of loving people and being a human. seriously.
I know that the love of God is poured into our hearts- that is what we need to love other people out of! Its hard to get there. I’m fully aware. I want to love others out of that kind of love rather than my human kind because it runs out. quickly.
God is so good though. i am thankful to be loved by a God like Him- that never fails, always hopes, always perserveres. There is no one like our God. no one.
So reading is my new friend. I’ve sort of been obsessed with it and I haven’t been able to find enough time to read as much as I want.
