Life is about a series of moments…

When I was in college, I reached a point in life when I was really enjoying life. So many amazing, wonderful, and beautiful things were happening in my life. They were having a profound effect on my perspective of life and as each great thing happened I wanted to take these moments in and appreciate them fully as God would want. I started writing down these specific moment in life that filled my heart so greatly. As I wrote them, I included these miniscule details so that I could fully capture the moment for what it was. I thought that by writing them i could remember them and the way I felt in them, the way I saw God in them, the perspective I had of myself in them. I wanted to continually be encouraged and renewed as I remembered the beauty of life in those moments.

Well, yesterday I got “roped” in to going white water rafting. Being adventureous scares me. There is something deep in my soul that desires to be pushed but often I wrestle with my own fear and insecurity. I sat wrestling with the idea of going when someone said something to me along the lines of “Sam, life is a series of moments. You need to take this opportunity.” At the time, I hated them for this but today as I sat in the raft, freezing and trying to think warm, lovely thoughts I was overwhelmed by many moments. Many of my most memorable moments have been ones of adventure where I step out even in fear to see beauty in the midst. I sat in the raft watching the water rush about me. It was beautiful and I had this thought that I wanted to yell. God already conquered this. He conquered this water. Jesus walked on water. There is nothing in this world that God is not able to conquer. I don’t need to be afraid. I immediately thought of all the moments when I worry about what others think of me or what they’ll say about me— It doesn’t matter. Jesus conquered that- He lived as He was called to despite what others thought of him or said about him. His reputation wasn’t always seen within the greatest light but still He was satisfied he was fullfilled in moment after moment. I want that. I long for that. I pursue that freedom and the beauty of those series of moments in life of adventure, the conquering of fears and the praising of God’s victory in my life.

Back Again…

An insanely inappropriate number of days has passed since my last post. I have a few goals for the summer and one of them is to start writing here more consistently. My other goals:

• to make a summer reading list
• to make a summer movie list
• to be outside often

I haven’t thought of these goals much this last week because i was previous unemployed and had plans of spending much of the summer in coffee shops searching for the “perfect” job, or at least the right job. About 3 weeks ago, I put my two weeks in at Target and decided that it was time to take a leap of faith. I’ll admit I was scared. I knew that this phase in my life was going to test my trust in the Lord and who He is. I was also desperately praying that God would rekindle some flame in my heart that had been burnt out. So last monday I started my officially unemployed life. I got up at 8am (thanks to Averi). I went to Starbucks (yum!) and began planning for the next two months of potential unemployment. I ran some errands, ate some lunch, then returned to Starbucks to soon receive a call from a friend who had heard of a potential job opening…. So today is a week later and I am starting my new job on Wednesday. Its a summer job working for a day camp with kids K-6th. What a blessing! I was hesitant to pursue this job because it seemed way too easy! I was planning on struggling and crying out for God to provide a job I could love yet once again God provided in a way I never imagined. I am so thankful. I am very excited about starting work  and am looking forward to what God has instore for me this summer.

There has really been a reoccurring theme in my life recently. It revolves around embracing life. I really feel like the last bit of life has really been about getting through rather than really living. Last night at corporate worship we were singing the song “My Savior Lives.” I started to wondering if I really believed that. I know that it true with my head but I’m not sure that I really live that way. I just don’t think that life is about just getting by- I know that it was meant to REALLY be lived. I want to see that in my life. So I’m praying too that this summer would be about rekindling that flame within me. I know that God had created me to love and LOVE BIG and to be filled with joy and to overflow, but somewhere along the way I got into this mode of doing the minimum and having to suffer my way through. I don’t think God intends for things to be that, at least not for me. I want to be someone who barfs joy on the world (in a good way). I want to be exploding with it. Exploding with love and good things that draw people into the good of God.