So, its been snowing like crazy the last few days. Its looking more like MN here than WA. I kinda like it but Seattle surely doesn’t handle the snow the way a MN town would. They don’t own enough plows in this place to take care of this. Also, they don’t salt the roads because of the salmon. So its a little bit crazy here. Anyway.
Merry Christmas folks.
This is me, before the ballet. I really like the ballet. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I would. I sort of imagined myself bored but it really was incredible. We saw “The Nutcracker.” The music and the dancers were wonderful and it was just a beautiful experience. The whole story really had me thinking about dreams. The dream of this little girl in the show is full of colors, good and evil, and all these beautiful, graceful, powerful parts and ideas. It was just so great. I started thinking about my own dreams.
It also happens that I’m reading a book called “The Blue Bottle Club.” This story also includes the apspirations and dreams of young women who desire so much and have such hope for the future but sometimes the story doesn’t always work that way. There are hard parts that ask for obedience and endurance. Painful parts which ask for strength and hope. The are good parts that ask for patience and joy. So much more happens beyond the dream or hope for the future.
I read this bit in “The Blue Bottle Club.” It says, ” The dream itself is the gift, you see– not necessarily the fullfillment. The dream, the longing for something outside ourselves, something greater and finer and nobler, is put into our hearts and souls by God who loves us. The dreams we’re aware of keep us reaching, give us hope, provide a goal to strive for. Whether or not they’re ever fulfilled, the serve their purpose. Dreams are like love. Love is never lost, even if it goes unrequited. For the very experience of loving make us tenderer, better people, more capable of receiving and appreciating God’s love.”
This reminds me of the hope that I have in life. Sometimes it feel too easy to be frustrated and dissatisfied with life because of where God has provided a job for me. I wish so desperate for something else, something new. Yet, God is really showing me that my dreams for something more are beautiful and they’re good but right now, this place is a part of filling a dream that maybe I can’t quite see yet or can’t understand the importance of this part of the journey.
I’m so thankful God hasn’t given up on me and my dreams.
I’ve loved Psalm 23 for a long time. I’m not sure when my obssession with it began but it has continued for atleast the last 4 years, which for me is pretty huge. For one, as a believer who grew up going to church, I used to see some of the classic “well-known” passage of the Bible as typical and unmoving. Yet, this passage has played a vital role in my relationship with God in the last few years and has drastically changed my perspective of the Lord in great ways.
I have decided recently to start studying this passage more indepth. I have reserved multiple commentaries and other books from the library revolving this passage and have begun to re-read a book recommended to me a few years ago called “A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23,” by Phillip Keller. When I read this book before, my perspective of God was changed greatly in a time of desperate need of restoration and rescue. So here I begin again, in hopes of seeing my Father in a new and fresh way in this treasured passage of scripture.
Tonight I was focusing on the first verse “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.” I love the relationship between the sheep and the shepherd. I am excited to be reminded of that. My Bible pointed me towards another verse tonight- Isaiah 40:11 “He tends to his flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart…” I want to be reminded of that love and attention and delight that the Lord has for me, His lamb who is close to His heart. Too easy it is for me to think how FAR I feel from God. I pray that even in the moments when I feel disconnected or frustrated or disappointed or lonely or sad- that I can think of being carried close to God’s heart. I want to remember the love that God has for me and the love that I have for Him. Because I look at my behavior- things that excite me, the things I fill my time with, the things that I fight for– they all lead back to LOVE. I desire to feel loved, deeply and intimately. This is way I am easily distracted by the Twilight books. I am fascinated by a deep, indescribable love that rocks my world. I continue to search in the wrong places, yet I still hear and feel God still voice calling out to me, desiring me to be close to his heart. That is were i find my deep indescribable love.
