I think pretty much most of my life, I’ve worked really hard to understand. I want things to be figured out and to make sense. There has to be reason and purpose. A point to life. Many times I think and act on the belief that everything in life has to make sense. So then all the bad things or hurtful things that happen- they have to make sense. There has to be a reason. I look at my life and there have been a few moments in life that have genuinely rocked me. They’ve left my heart bleeding and eventually rotting. These things have affected me to deeply that I am nearly destroyed. Those moments I always look at life and try to figure out why this is happening. There has to be a logical reason, a point. It has to all make sense.
Well i realized something tonight. Life doesn’t make sense. Things happen, things change, hearts break, lives are rocked, worlds are shaken. It mostly always doesn’t make sense. I mean seriously, how much sense does it make that God loves us so much that He sent His only son to die for us? How much sense does that make? Life isn’t always about fairness or rightness or sense. Sometimes it just is and you have to make the most of what you’ve been given.
Tonight, I watched Idol Gives Back. I like American Idol because its fun and gives me an opportunity to spend a night with some very special friends. I like it because of the music. I also like critiquing and believing that I have a valuable judgement to make (not true, but i like to believe that sometimes). Anyway. I loved tonight because it is a great opportunity for people to use their talent to get people to give money to organizations and charities that need the money to help those in Africa or even areas in the USA that are struggling. I know that last year when this part of the show aired, they made millions of dollars and it was very effective. That’s cool. As i watched it though, my heart broke for all these different children and families that are struggling so desperately just to make it day to day. Then I start to think about celebrities and all the “things” that they have. The nice clothes, cars, houses, etc… how selfishly I think it would be so great to live that life and how selfishly I want after things. Like a new computer because mine died on me two days ago… Then I start to think about how desperately the world needs Christ. They need truth because the other things in this world are messing them up BAD! A lot of people are stuck in situations that appear hopeless. But Christ is HOPE. They need Him. I need Him. Well the show tonight ended with the Idol contestants singing “Shout to the Lord.” I couldn’t believe that it was happening. A Christian song on TV. First off, its a worship song, slightly older ( and by older I mean i sang it when i was in high school 8 years ago). Also, they didn’t sing “Jesus.” They said, “Savior”, “Lord,” but not “Jesus.” They were singing about the power of the name of our Savior and they stinkin’ couldn’t even say Jesus. What? I don’t know. I’m amazed that a song like that was even on TV, but to take out one of the most vital, life giving parts… Jesus. Ouch. that rips at my heart strings.
This world needs Jesus bad. All those children in Africa and in Kentucky, New Orleans, etc… even the ones that live miles from me. They need Jesus. I’m starting to think maybe sometimes I live my life just like the TV show did, with removing the name Jesus. Not intentionally always. I live a moral life and try my best to set an example and tell people I believe in God… But I think I might be removing Jesus because He is too offensive or not as widely accepted. I don’t know. Man, what I do know… my heart aches for Christ. For My Best Friend. My Lover. My Savior. My Redeemer. I need Him.
