Hard time with words but Hope sounds good. February 12, 2008

I struggle with words. Often because I feel as if my knowledge of the English language fails me and makes it difficult to feel as though  I’ve expressed myself. I get lost in trying to be impressive sometimes, as if my written word, which sounds more like me talking, can’t sound very educated. I’m smart though. Maybe not in the ways I hope to beor the ways I should be, but I am. Besides, sometimes God throws in a bit of wisdom for me to share with others.

Well, song lyrics are good stuff. Lately, I’ve been listening to the musical stylings of Elizabeth Hunnicutt. Especially her song “With Only You.”

   ” Every new day brings a new surprise. A new horizon and a new set of eyes. And sometimes I can see the sun is rising. And all is right. And there are days when living is a fight. And trying hard I try to close my eyes. And fade out of the sadness and the loneliness. In my life. With every breath I take I want to live this life. And every day I get I want to use this time. And everywhere I go I want to be just fine with only you….”

These lyrics have spoken deeply to me each day, whether I”m driving home or to work. I end up singing this song pretty much all day. I love it. I think what I love so much is that its so real about the toughness of life. I love the line about “living is a fight.” I can feel that often in this place that I’m in, but something I’m starting to realize is that I can’t focus on that line alone. I get too caught up in the tough, rough, and sad when there is so much GOOD! BECAUSE I have Christ within me.

Tonight I started reading this book called,  Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. I’ve only read like 20 or so pages, but I love it because she says in the beginning of the book how she was tired of looking at all the “pessimism and grimness (pg. 9) She says “I need optimism and celebration and hope in the face of violence and despair and anxiety. And because the other road is a dead end. Despair is a slow death….” SO TRUE.

I am desperate for some celebration. I know there is so much woundedness in the world. But there is hope. I love that word hope. Its like one of the best things ever.. HOPE. Christ is our hope. ” And hope does not disappoint for God has poured his love into our hearts.”

I want to hope.